First Man in My Life

Last night I sat in the dusk at the high school stadium,

watching my daughter's soccer game.

I was surrounded by fans of all sizes, plus my own family.
One of the other player's moms was sitting nearby.
I saw an elderly man approach, climb the steps and then make his way over to her. Their faces lit up as they greeted one another and he found a seat next to her.
Hugs and pats on the back.
It was her father.
My dad - in Alaska - about 1960's.

As I watched this tender scene, I was filled with the most
profound sense of loss and sadness.
My eyes filled with unshed tears, and a lump formed in my throat.
Dad & Mom - Christmastime - 1960's

I have never had the experience of having my father come to any of my children's sporting events, or plays, or concerts.
I have never been able to sit with him as a mom while he enjoyed seeing his grandchildren - my children - run a race, dance, or march in a band.
He hasn't ever met my family.
He hasn't even met my husband.
All of these earthly experiences that I've mentioned, will not be ours to share.
And I felt such loss as I realized this, last night.
Family, minus Steve, at Palmyra - 1960's

My Dad passed away when I was 23 yrs. old.
I was the youngest in my family.
My brother and sisters already had families.
I wasn't married yet. I hadn't even met Dan yet.
Dad and brother Steve - 1940's

I have missed my Dad.
I have missed the way he would bounce his grandkids on his knee.
I have missed the 'Cracker Jacks' he would surprise them with or the
treats hidden in his jacket pocket.
I have missed his influence in my children's lives.
I have missed him in MY life.
Dad - late 1970's

But this is temporary.
I WILL see him again.
My children will get to know him.
And his influence is still felt, through me.
There is a hereafter.
Families can be eternal.
I know this.
I will be with him again.
Me and Dad

He will give me a big hug and a pat on the head (cuz that's what he used to do),
and he'll say, "Pat, introduce me to my grandkids!"
And maybe, just maybe, the kids can play soccer for him too!
Dad's motorhome & boat

And we'll definitely have to take a road/boat trip!!